The Filter: Team Blog

According to Mathematician’s, today is the most depressing day of the year. It’s Monday. You’ve broken all of your new years resolutions. It’s a billion years from Pay Day. U2 are about to release a new album.

The press have dubbed it Blue Monday, which I would find amusing/clever were it not for my hugely depressed state.

So, firstly, congratulations to all of our readers to making it through to 11 AM on the most depressing day of the year without breaking open ten packets of paracetamol with shaking hands.

I was going to post a list of happy, joyous songs to help us break out of our collective lull – but to be honest, I’m too depressed. What does sunshine look like? What do puppies smell like? When will Bono stop singing?

Being a bit of a math’s wizard myself, I formulated an equation to dive through the entire catalogue of recorded music since 1956 to pick out the ten most depressing songs ever written, by anyone, ever.

Here’s the results:

1. Morrissey – Every Day Is Like Sunday
2. Morrissey – I Know Very Well How I Got My Name
3. Morrissey – Boxers
4. Morrissey – Dial A Cliche
5. Morrissey – We’ll Let You Know
6. Morrissey – I’ve Changed My Plea To Guilty
7. Morrissey – Dear God Please Help Me
8. Morrissey – Angel, Angel, Down We Go Together
9. Morrissey – I Am Hated For Loving
10. Morrissey – Seasick, Yet Still Docked.

My coffee’s also gone cold.